All things aside. I stepped down from my position as a supervisor because I did not agree at all with the companies ethics. So I chose to step down and pursue being a mentor and helping people again. I also chose to go for my LNA. I want to make a difference in this world. I guess apart of me is afraid that I cant because I am too busy saying that I am sorry to everyone for mistakes that are just plain ridicolous!
Did you ever know anyone in your life that made you wanna pull your hair out and scream?
That has been my entire life... I guess I should think about getting some ear plugs..
Life is full of wonderful things. I just wish my self-confidence was one of those wonderful things and people would stop smoldering it with their heavy conversations and self-centered egotistical views.
I have worked so hard to come this far. To make a life for myself and my son as a single mom. My ex- husband wasn't the easiest person to deal with during the court process, divorce process.. or even now. He thinks he can walk all over me and needs constant control over every situation concerning our son. I feel Liam can make his own decisions. He is my little boy and I want whats best for him. But I feel his father thinks what is best for him is constant control over every circumstance. If that's continuously the case then Liam will never know what fun is. I understand there has to be limitations to every child's actions but they should be able to chose what they would like and not be scolded for it.
Then you have my work place. My bosses felt they could walk all over me and basically make me do their work for them. How is that fair? I guess life isn't but regardless I get paid to do my own work, not the work load of my own and someone else's. I think in the end that ended up hurting my chance for success in that position. And the backstabbing was just out of control! I can not believe what some people were saying about me. It was excruciatingly painful to hear and I felt that a lot of people held grudges against me for something I was told to do by somebody else, almost being set up to fail on purpose by a bunch of egotistical jackasses.
I just feel at this point in my life that there are some very cruel and dishonest people out there, but I chose not to be one of them. I will fight for my son to have a good life, good job or not, exes opinions or not. I am his mom and he needs to know that I am in charge. I want him to come to me with his problems and not be afraid, but also to know when I stand firm on certain subjects. I feel this is important.
Honestly, there is a whole entire story about why I have no self-confidence. It isn't a very heart-warming story. Its an excuse that I hid behind due to lack of self-confidence. Its my fault I have no self-confidence not anyone else's. So why cant my chunky butt just accept that?
~Bethany R. Boisvert
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